Listening to the Heart

All my life, I had heard about how we were supposed to follow our hearts ... at least that's what the novels I had read said, not to mention the movies I had watched.

In 'real life' people told me to be 'logical' and I even chose a logic based profession - law.

I lived in my head and largely didn't think too much about my heart, except of course, in the case of falling in love and then getting my heart broken.

Life went on, though living in my head meant that I didn't hear the wisdom of my heart or that of my higher levels of consciousness.

But at some point I cannot yet pinpoint I began to listen to my inner voice, bit by bit.  Not so easy when you've a bossy left brain!

Following my heart was uncomfortable and downright difficult sometimes.  I made decisions which made no sense to other people but which I knew were 'right' for me although I could not myself totally understand the 'logic' of it.

I was led to studying the heart.  Not only the living heart with its miraculous abilities of keeping us alive and healthy but also the heart, as the centre of feelings and an interface between our Higher Consciousness and our inner knowing.  But I was to learn that even this was the tip of the iceberg.

Through an explicable turn of events in my life, I found myself in deep emotional distress and pain.  I tried ignoring the pain and forged ahead with processes of manifesting and all sorts of things.  But my pain was the proverbial elephant in the room and I could not ignore it and I had to deal with the real issues.

I tried forgiveness but it was not working. Then, I tried tapping on the issues but I realised that I was still not dealing with the feelings but trying to bypass or circumvent them.  What to do?

I realised then that I had to face my feelings head on.  They were here for a reason, to tell me something and they did not seem to want to go away until the message was delivered and understood!

It seemed like I had to make a date with my heart so that I would not distract myself.  It was uncomfortable to sit with them.  Oh boy, was it ever hard!  I wanted to run.  I wanted to be everywhere but here.

But sit with them I did. It felt like an energy literally stepped outside of me and sat down with me.  And I asked it what it was here to tell me.  It became a dialogue.  I would feel the message and sometimes ask for clarification and I would feel some more.  Then finally I understood.  I thanked it and said that it could leave now.  And the energy went away.

It was a huge release and relief for me.   It was not the end but the beginning of this leg of my journey.